baby ticker - almost done!!!

Random Thoughts

~ It was brought to my attention that I "don't reach out" to people. I never thought about this before but it is true. I am a very private person who doesn't like reaching out to others. I tend to push them away. Husband told me he was impressed b/c I was reaching out to one person in particular and how uncommon that was for me. I wonder why I'm like that? Any ideas?


~ A friend gave me a guinea pig. It promptly passed away the next day. Sometimes I feel like the angel of death. I had such a guilt complex over it b/c it was a new friend of mine and this had been a dear pet to her and her children and now I felt like I was somehow responsible for the death of this animal. Even though I know rationally I didn't do anything wrong, I still feel guilty. :/


~ Exhausted. What more is there to say. I'm so tired. I feel like an alien has taken control over my body and I can't do anything like I used to could (like bend over to paint my toenails...). Sighhhhhhhhh

Niki Niki - I mean, Moto Moto....

This is like the soundtrack that plays when I am trying to get up out of a chair, trying to walk across a parking lot - or pretty much all the time... lol....

i hate death.

i hate death. i hate the arrogant way it creeps into ur life and tries to consume every waking moment, every aspect. i hate the way it rips someone or something u love away usually without even the chance to say goodbye. i hate the way it lingers on even after the fact, trying to steal every little ounce of happiness u attempt to grasp onto. i hate the way it makes ur life seem to become frozen in a moment of time, how it changes ur aspect of life to before death came and after death came. it seems to mock u when u think u have finally achieved triumph over it. it always finds a way to sneak back in, to bring up things u could've, should've done differently. i hate death.

Weep.

The Weeping Willow. I have always loved this particular type of tree. The name itself makes you think of emotions and possible story lines of how it was so appropriately named. It's long wavy branches almost reach out to comfort you and hide you behind it's curtain.

The Weeping Willow comes to mind today because my "bess fran"s brother passed away last night. He was a young man. They suspect it had something to do with his diabetes. But wow. The pain that family is going through. It breaks my heart. I have never lost a sibling so I don't try to pretend to know the sorrow she feels. I lost my child so I can only imagine that it is a similar type of pain.


This family is in my thoughts and prayers. Please join me in praying for them as they go through this difficult time.

Belly

Can I POSSIBLY get ANY bigger???? This is what I see when I look down. I'm sure at one point in time I had feet. And they were probably cute and had some funky nail polish on my little toe nails... If anyone sees my feet, please let me know. I miss them....

read this.

whole article was taken from http://crimsonmaverick.blogspot.com/2009/05/beautiful-bride.html

 

A beautiful bride  

Signed, sealed & delivered by Rachel 倪欣薇

May 15,
2009

Something worth reading despite exams time :


Katie Kirkpatrick, 21, held off cancer to celebrate the happiest day of her life. Katie had chased cancer, once only to have it return-to clog her lungs and grab hold of her heart. Breathing was difficult now, she had to use oxygen. The pain in her back was so intense it broke through the morphine that was supposed to act as a shield. Her organs were shutting down but it would not stop her from marrying Nick Godwin, 23, who was in love with Katie since 11th grade.

The girl in the picture is Katie Kirkpatrick, she is 21. Next to her, her fiancé, Nick, 23.
The picture was taken shortly before their wedding ceremony, held on January 11, 2005 in the US.
Katie has terminal cancer and spend hours a day receiving medication.
In the picture, Nick is waiting for her on one of the many sessions of chemo to end.

In spite of all the pain, organ failures, and morphine shots, Katie is going along with her wedding and took care of every detail. The dress had to be adjusted a few times due to her constant weight loss.

And unusual accessory at the party was the oxygen tube that Katie used throughout the ceremony and reception as well.
The other couple in the picture are Nick's parents. Excited to see her son marrying his high school sweetheart.
Katie, in her wheelchair with the oxygen tube, listening to a song from her husband and friends.
At the reception, Katie had to take a few rests. The pain did not let her stand up for long periods.

Katie died five days after her wedding day.

Watching a woman so ill and weak yet getting married with a smile on her face makes us think..... Happiness is reachable, no matter how long it last. We should stop making our lives complicated.

Life is not always the party we expected to be
but as long as we are here, we should smile and be grateful.

God bless us in many ways which our human eyes are just too blind to see. We may question why He took her away at such a young age (a mere 21 years old beautiful woman, mind you, just a year older than I am right now).
But then again, He gave her the most priceless thing ever - Love. A husband. Family. Comfort. Peace. Joy. Positivity.

This actually got me through a short tough period I experienced lately.
If she can get her happiness as simple as that, why can't we?