Pregnant

yay. we are expecting.  awesomeness!

My cuzn'z baby'z daddy'z lil bruda'z bes fren's uncle's x-wife's boyfren's mama's nexdoe neigba's susta in law said tell you Muricripmus

The Sperm Donor

I have a Dad. He is awesome and is always there for me. He loves me unconditionally. I'm not his biological daughter but you would never know. I have a sperm donor. I have tried to have a relationship with him but it's like he doesn't like me. He has a relationship with his other daughter but he doesnt have one with me. He doesnt really have a relationship with his son either. I dont know. Im hurt and i dont even know why. Its stupid because he has never been a part of my life and i dont know why I'm getting all hurt now. I am thankful for my Dad though. Without him, I wouldn't even know the love of an earthly father.

December 7, 2009 - Monday

People who love drama


Current mood: drained

Category: Life

I am so sick and tired of people who feel the need to stir stuff up so that they feel important. Actually, i feel sad and sorry for them because obviously they are lacking a sense of fullfillment. I try and try to have a friendship with them but it always ends up with major drama and i cant handle it anymore. I have prayed and prayed about how to handle the situation. My flesh wants to react but God tells me that its not worth the effort and all i can do is pray for them and hope eventually they will turn their life around and become the person i know they are capable of being. Until that day, i wash my hands completely.

September 3, 2009 - Thursday

Yeah


Current mood: sad

So we found out yesterday that we lost the baby. i really didn't expect to feel all these emotions. i mean, i didn't ever even see the baby on an ultrasound yet i am overwhelmed by feelings of grief and sadness. Now i have to deal with my body going through the transition from pregnancy to not pregnant and i have no idea what to expect. and now i have to go be around well meaning people who want to comfort me somehow when i just don't even want to feel. i know God has a reason behind this and i find comfort in His love.

Hello World!

So, I'm starting this new blog up to sort of just have a place to vent and what not.  We'll see how it goes...

If you have found this blog, you probably already know me but for those of you who are unfortunate enought to not know me, I'm Niki. I'm very much an oringinal and I'm a JESUS FREAK! Doesn't mean I'm perfect. Far from it. All my friends know that I tend to speak before I think.
Today I'm at the center volunteering (fyi - crisis preg pro-life center).  It's been a quiet day so far though I think it will pick up some this afternoon.  Ate a frozen meal for lunch but really wanted to KFC which is right across the street but I'm too lazy to go over there... lol....

Thinking about next week, aka Christmas.  Got to do the family thing even though there are some family members I just really don't want to see.  Is that so horrible? So this is all boring news for ya'll i know...

Here's a blog entry taken from my myspace account for your reading enjoyment:

September 4, 2008 - Thursday
Fatty, Fatty 2 by 4, can’t fit through th kitchen door...


i. feel. fat.



which makes me grumpy. makes me not a nice person to be around. which just makes me even more grumpy.



think it's strange the way when i get in a bad mood, other things pop up that seem to darken the pit. i start thinking about all the bad stuff - the negative stuff. i guess it's almost like feeding the darkness and giving it more power as it tries to consume me.



my husband is the most wonderful man on earth. he told me this morning that i was the most beautiful woman. that meant so much to me.



thank you God, for giving me this incredible husband