Today

Today I miss my husband. :(

and my kids.

YAY!

I am back online! Something happened to my blog and for an extended period of time, I was unable to log in. Crazy, huh? Sooooo - I guess an update is in store! We had our baby! He is now almost 6 months old and is the most amazingly happy baby. He loves to eat... lol!He is much bigger than the picture - It was taken shortly after he was born.
I am doing great - I have decided to go back to school to follow my dream of Surgical Technology. I am so excited about it. I work during the day and go to school in the evenings. Busy, busy, busy.
A week after our baby was born, my husband started have severe double vision. We took him to the ER and they couldn't figure out what was going on with him. We saw several more physicians but long story short, he has been diagnosed with Myasthenia Gravis. It has been a very difficult process. Imagine one day being fine, able to do what ever you want and than wake up the next day and all of the sudden the smallest of tasks leaves you with difficulty breathing, muscle weakness, difficulty walking, double vision.... It's been a process adjusting to our new life. He has to go in the hospital about every 4 weeks for treatment. It is so frustrating because it seems like the treatments are getting less and less effective. We go see a neuromuscular specialist on our 3rd anniversary. Hopefully he will have some new options for us.
The kids are all doing great. We all recently moved and are loving our new place. Guess that's all for today - I will be blogging more now. :) Leave me some comments, Come on folks, Show us some love! lol!

baby ticker - almost done!!!

Random Thoughts

~ It was brought to my attention that I "don't reach out" to people. I never thought about this before but it is true. I am a very private person who doesn't like reaching out to others. I tend to push them away. Husband told me he was impressed b/c I was reaching out to one person in particular and how uncommon that was for me. I wonder why I'm like that? Any ideas?


~ A friend gave me a guinea pig. It promptly passed away the next day. Sometimes I feel like the angel of death. I had such a guilt complex over it b/c it was a new friend of mine and this had been a dear pet to her and her children and now I felt like I was somehow responsible for the death of this animal. Even though I know rationally I didn't do anything wrong, I still feel guilty. :/


~ Exhausted. What more is there to say. I'm so tired. I feel like an alien has taken control over my body and I can't do anything like I used to could (like bend over to paint my toenails...). Sighhhhhhhhh

Niki Niki - I mean, Moto Moto....

This is like the soundtrack that plays when I am trying to get up out of a chair, trying to walk across a parking lot - or pretty much all the time... lol....

i hate death.

i hate death. i hate the arrogant way it creeps into ur life and tries to consume every waking moment, every aspect. i hate the way it rips someone or something u love away usually without even the chance to say goodbye. i hate the way it lingers on even after the fact, trying to steal every little ounce of happiness u attempt to grasp onto. i hate the way it makes ur life seem to become frozen in a moment of time, how it changes ur aspect of life to before death came and after death came. it seems to mock u when u think u have finally achieved triumph over it. it always finds a way to sneak back in, to bring up things u could've, should've done differently. i hate death.

Weep.

The Weeping Willow. I have always loved this particular type of tree. The name itself makes you think of emotions and possible story lines of how it was so appropriately named. It's long wavy branches almost reach out to comfort you and hide you behind it's curtain.

The Weeping Willow comes to mind today because my "bess fran"s brother passed away last night. He was a young man. They suspect it had something to do with his diabetes. But wow. The pain that family is going through. It breaks my heart. I have never lost a sibling so I don't try to pretend to know the sorrow she feels. I lost my child so I can only imagine that it is a similar type of pain.


This family is in my thoughts and prayers. Please join me in praying for them as they go through this difficult time.